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Support for women who
feel deeply & think differently

Does this sound familiar?

You cancel plans at the last minute because the thought of small talk makes you want to crawl out of your skin

 

The grocery store feels like something bordering on torture. The combination of fluorescent lights, crowded aisles, and the constant chatter make you feel almost physically ill.

 

Both at home and at work, your to-do list just keeps getting longer, and you keep feeling more and more overwhelmed. 

 

There are days when you can do a week's worth of work in four hours, and there are times when you're lucky if you can get a few hours of work finished the entire week. And it seems like you can never really predict when either one will happen.

 

After masking all day at work, you come home exhausted and drained every day.

There are moments when something that seems like it should be "minor" leaves you feeling devastated. And then on top of the emotional overwhelm, you also end up feeling ashamed for being "too sensitive."

 

You find yourself up at night replaying conversations in your head, wondering where you might have said the wrong thing, interrupted too many times, or forgot to smile enough.

Socializing feels like a performance. You feel isolated, always the outsider, even when you're surrounded by people.

The late diagnosis reckoning

If you were diagnosed autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD late in life, you know what I'm talking about.

There's this moment when you suddenly see it: 
"I've been living the wrong life." ​

 

Not a bad life, necessarily. Just the wrong one. The one you thought you were supposed to live. But it's one that doesn't work for you.
 

And once you see it, you can't unsee it. Your body and brain won't let you go back.

 

Many late-diagnosed women wrestle with questions like: What if people don't like me any more after I drop the mask and they see the real me?​ Which parts of me are me — and which parts of me are the mask I've worn for so long?

 

One of the hardest questions to grapple with is: What if I don't even know who I am?

Here's the truth

You are not the problem.
 

Your neurodivergent brain isn't broken.

 

You don't need to "just try harder."


The problem is that you've spent your entire life trying to brute-force your way through systems that weren't built for you.

You need support that actually understands how your brain works
and helps you design a life that fits.

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Coaching

You don't need to "fix'' yourself

You've been trying to make yourself fit into a world that wasn't designed for your brain.

And you're exhausted.

 

I help autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD women stop forcing themselves into systems that don't work and start building lives that do work for them.

Through one-on-one coaching, we can work together to understand where you are now, clarify where you want to go, and create a plan to get you there.​

"But you look fine..''

What other people see and what you experience can be two dramatically different things.

And when you try to explain this to people who don't get it, you end up exhausting yourself even more.

In our work together, we'll identify what drains you versus what restores you. And we'll find ways to mitigate or prevent the things that drain you so that you regain energy to invest in the things that light you up.
 

You'll learn how to recognize your own limits so that you can set boundaries before you hit the wall. And you'll learn how to communicate and reinforce your boundaries to protect your energy.

You'll recognize the difference between having an open slot on your calendar and actually having the capacity to do more. And you'll develop strategies for protecting your capacity in your relationships as well as in your work​.

Life can be so much easier

You can learn how to:​
 

🌱  Create systems that work specifically for you, even if they don't make sense to anyone else

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🌱  Give yourself permission to unmask and be your authentic self

 

🌱  Manage the intense emotions that often come with autism and ADHD

 

🌱  Understand your sensory sensitivities and how they affect your energy

 

🌱  Match your peak energy periods with the tasks that require the most energy

Trade overwhelm for strategies that work

Hi, I'm Mary Pasciak: a neurodivergence coach, mom, former Buffalo News reporter, and AuDHDer.

 

For most of my life, I existed in a near-constant state of overwhelm and exhaustion. When I was diagnosed at the age of 49, I began to understand my life differently.

I started to create strategies that actually work for me. My stress level dropped. And my shame began to subside.

After seeing how much my life improved, I wanted to help other people benefit too, so I trained through an ICF-accredited program to become a professional coach. ​

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The women I work with
are doing some amazing things

I know this might sound like something out of a cheesy made-for-TV movie, but it's true:

There comes a moment for women when something shifts inside them.

 

They stop doubting themselves. They stop apologizing.

They reconnect with strengths they've always had — creativity, ingenuity, curiosity, passion — and finally let themselves be who they actually are.

 

That's when they become unstoppable. 

Many of the women I work with have made dramatic pivots to careers that align with who that actually are.

 

A number of them have left a corporate job to launch their own business or nonprofit, or to invest their energy into creative projects.

 

Some have left a field they never really loved to pursue work that aligns deeply with their values

Their breakthroughs aren't limited to work and career; they've also made huge changes in their personal lives.

After years of people-pleasing, women have learned how to set boundaries and reclaim some of that energy to reinvest it in themselves. 

They've learned to rest without shame.

Many of them have become more present with their partner and kids.

And after years of feeling like an outsider, many women have started to develop the kind of meaningful friendships that always used to seem out of reach.

The values that guide our work together

💜  Compassion: Our sessions provide a judgment-free zone with plenty of patience, acceptance, and empathy.

 

🤝  Collaboration: We work together to create systems that work for you. You're the expert on your brain. I'm here to guide you.
 

🌈  Neurodivergent pride: ADHD, autism, and AuDHD are differences, not defects. We tailor strategies that accommodate your energy, focus, and sensory needs.

🧠  Science: Our work is grounded in research on how neurodivergent brains work and what actually helps them thrive.
 

⚡  Empowerment: We combine effective strategies with meaningful mindset shifts.

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Here's what women say
about working with me

I'm actually rebuilding my life in a way that suits me. My progress has been amazing, this confidence I have in myself now.  – K.

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This has made my relationships better.

 

I feel like I can show up more as myself and keep unmasking and building that strength I've been working so hard on.  – E.

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I don't remember ever having a year where I felt so grounded and had so much energy.

 

I feel like I have the capacity now to handle the things that come up.  – M.

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You create a safe space

 

If I didn't feel like my words were going to be honored for the intention behind them, then I wouldn't share them. So thank you.  – J.

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I'm feeling grounded in my body in a way I didn't feel before. 

I feel like I can breathe again.  – L. 

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When I look forward, there's still tears, but now it's tears of relief.  – D.

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I'm noticing and honoring where my energy is. That's new for me.  – K.

What you get when we work together

🛠️ Practical tools you can use immediately

You'll leave every session with tangible action steps: routines, boundaries, decision-making frameworks.

🧡  A judgment-free space

No shame. No pressure to be "normal." Just compassion, patience, and acceptance.

🔎  Research-backed strategies

Everything we do is grounded in science and research about how neurodivergent brains work.

🚀  Transformational mindset shifts

The struggle isn't just about what's tangible — it's also about the limiting stories you tell yourself. We'll reframe those so they move you forward instead of keeping you stuck.​​​

Coaching that fits your life

I want you to feel comfortable in our sessions, which are each an hour long.

We'll meet one-on-one, in whatever format works best for you.

That can be on Google Meet (camera optional), over the phone, via text messages, or in person (if you live in Buffalo, NY).


Most clients meet weekly, but the schedule is flexible.

We'll find a rhythm that works for your life.

 

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Want to learn more?

If you'd like to find out more, you can schedule a free consultation.

We'll spend up to an hour talking about where you are, where you want to be, and what's been blocking your way. 

I'll answer whatever questions you have.

There's no pressure to commit. If this feels right for you, we'll talk about next steps.

 

If it doesn't, I'll point you toward other resources that will better meet your needs.

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Choose the rate that's right for you

​Coaching is transformative, and I want it to be within reach for everyone

Please choose the rate that feels sustainable for you:

• $120 – If you're comfortably able to pay the full rate, this helps make lower-cost coaching possible for others.

• $80 – A reduced rate for those who need a little flexibility.

• $40 – For those who would otherwise not be able to access coaching.

I trust you to choose the option that best fits your current circumstances. No explanation is ever needed.

 

If your circumstances change over time, you're always welcome to switch to a different rate. 

You may be able to use HSA or FSA funds to cover our work together.

Frequently asked questions

How does coaching differ from therapy?

Therapy generally focuses on processing emotions from the past. Coaching focuses on achieving tangible results in the future and building the life you want.

Both are incredibly valuable. Many of my clients work with a therapist in addition to working with me.

How does coaching work?

We work together to understand where you are now, clarify where you want to go, and design a plan to help you get there.

I haven't been officially diagnosed. Can I still work with you?

We can work together whether you are officially diagnosed, self-identify, or just suspect you might have a brain that is autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD.

I'm interested in coaching, but I hate video calls.

I got you! We have options. We can: stick with Google Meet, with cameras on; use Google Meet, cameras off; do an old-fashioned phone call; or have a text-based session.

Do you work only with cis women?

Cis and transgender women, genderqueer  all are welcome.

Do you take insurance?

While I don't take insurance, it may be possible to use your HSA or FSA funds to cover the cost.

What if I live outside the United States?

I can work with you no matter where you live. Currently, I work with clients in the United States, Canada, and Europe.

What's your coaching background?


I'm trained by Thriving Coach Academy in a neuroscience-based coaching model.

I also bring 20+ years of experience as an investigative reporter, personal lived experience as someone who is AuDHD, and deep knowledge of neurodivergence research and strategies.

How long does coaching take?

It depends on your goals. Generally, clients work with me for a few months, but it can be shorter or longer.

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