Support for women who
feel deeply & think differently
Does this sound familiar?
You cancel plans at the last minute because the thought of small talk makes you want to crawl out of your skin.
The grocery store feels like something bordering on torture. The combination of fluorescent lights, crowded aisles, and the constant chatter make you feel almost physically ill.
Both at home and at work, your to-do list just keeps getting longer, and you keep feeling more and more overwhelmed.
There are days when you can do a week's worth of work in four hours, and there are times when you're lucky if you can get a few hours of work finished the entire week. And it seems like you can never really predict when either one will happen.
After masking all day at work, you come home exhausted and drained every day.
There are moments when something that seems like it should be "minor" leaves you feeling devastated. And then on top of the emotional overwhelm, you also end up feeling ashamed for being "too sensitive."
You find yourself up at night replaying conversations in your head, wondering where you might have said the wrong thing, interrupted too many times, or forgot to smile enough.
Socializing feels like a performance. You feel isolated, always the outsider, even when you're surrounded by people.
The late diagnosis reckoning
If you were diagnosed autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD late in life, you know what I'm talking about.
There's this moment when you suddenly see it: "I've been living the wrong life."
Not a bad life, necessarily. Just the wrong one. The one you thought you were supposed to live. But it's one that doesn't work for you.
And once you see it, you can't unsee it. Your body and brain won't let you go back.
Many late-diagnosed women wrestle with questions like: What if people don't like me any more after I drop the mask and they see the real me? Which parts of me are me — and which parts of me are the mask I've worn for so long?
One of the hardest questions to grapple with is: What if I don't even know who I am?
Here's the truth
You are not the problem.
Your neurodivergent brain isn't broken.
You don't need to "just try harder."
The problem is that you've spent your entire life trying to brute-force your way through systems that weren't built for you.
You need support that actually understands how your brain works and helps you design a life that fits.
You don't need to "fix'' yourself
You've been trying to make yourself fit into a world that wasn't designed for your brain.
And you're exhausted.
I help autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD women stop forcing themselves into systems that don't work and start building lives that do work for them.
Through one-on-one coaching, we can work together to understand where you are now, clarify where you want to go, and create a plan to get you there.
"But you look fine..''
What other people see and what you experience can be two dramatically different things.
And when you try to explain this to people who don't get it, you end up exhausting yourself even more.
In our work together, we'll identify what drains you versus what restores you. And we'll find ways to mitigate or prevent the things that drain you so that you regain energy to invest in the things that light you up.
You'll learn how to recognize your own limits so that you can set boundaries before you hit the wall. And you'll learn how to communicate and reinforce your boundaries to protect your energy.
You'll recognize the difference between having an open slot on your calendar and actually having the capacity to do more. And you'll develop strategies for protecting your capacity in your relationships as well as in your work.
Life can be so much easier
You can learn how to:
🌱 Create systems that work specifically for you, even if they don't make sense to anyone else
🌱 Give yourself permission to unmask and be your authentic self
🌱 Manage the intense emotions that often come with autism and ADHD
🌱 Understand your sensory sensitivities and how they affect your energy
🌱 Match your peak energy periods with the tasks that require the most energy
Trade overwhelm for strategies that work
Hi, I'm Mary Pasciak: a neurodivergence coach, mom, former Buffalo News reporter, and AuDHDer.
For most of my life, I existed in a near-constant state of overwhelm and exhaustion. When I was diagnosed at the age of 49, I began to understand my life differently.
I created strategies that actually work for me. My stress level dropped. And my shame began to subside.
After seeing how much my life improved, I wanted to help other people benefit too, so I trained to become a professional coach.
The women I work with are doing amazing things
I know this might sound like something out of a cheesy made-for-TV movie, but it's true:
There comes a moment for women when something shifts inside them.
They stop doubting themselves. They stop apologizing.
They reconnect with strengths they've always had — creativity, ingenuity, curiosity, passion — and finally let themselves be who they actually are.
That's when they become unstoppable.
Many of the women I work with have made dramatic pivots to careers that align with who that actually are.
A number of them have left a corporate job to launch their own business or nonprofit, or to invest their energy into creative projects.
Some have left a field they never really loved to pursue work that aligns deeply with their values.
Their breakthroughs aren't limited to work and career; they've also made huge changes in their personal lives.
After years of people-pleasing, women have learned how to set boundaries and reclaim some of that energy to reinvest it in themselves.
They've learned to rest without shame.
Many of them have become more present with their partner and kids.
And after years of feeling like an outsider, many women have started to develop the kind of meaningful friendships that always used to seem out of reach.
The values that guide our work together
💜 Compassion: Our sessions provide a judgment-free zone with plenty of patience, acceptance, and empathy.
🤝 Collaboration: We work together to create systems that work for you. You're the expert on your brain. I'm here to guide you.
🌈 Neurodivergent pride: ADHD, autism, and AuDHD are differences, not defects. We tailor strategies that accommodate your energy, focus, and sensory needs.
🧠 Science: Our work is grounded in research on how neurodivergent brains work and what actually helps them thrive.
⚡ Empowerment: We combine effective strategies with meaningful mindset shifts.
Here's what women say
about working with me
I'm actually rebuilding my life in a way that suits me. My progress has been amazing, this confidence I have in myself now. – K.
---------------------
This has made my relationships better.
I feel like I can show up more as myself and keep unmasking and building that strength I've been working so hard on. – E.
---------------------
I don't remember ever having a year where I felt so grounded and had so much energy.
I feel like I have the capacity now to handle the things that come up. – M.
---------------------
You create a safe space.
If I didn't feel like my words were going to be honored for the intention behind them, then I wouldn't share them. So thank you. – J.
---------------------
I'm feeling grounded in my body in a way I didn't feel before.
I feel like I can breathe again. – L.
---------------------
When I look forward, there's still tears, but now it's tears of relief. – D.
---------------------
I'm noticing and honoring where my energy is. That's new for me. – K.
Frequently asked questions
How does coaching differ from therapy?
Therapy generally focuses on processing emotions from the past. Coaching focuses on achieving tangible results in the future and building the life you want.
Both are valuable. Many of my clients work with a therapist in addition to working with me.
I haven't been officially diagnosed. Can I still work with you?
We can work together whether you are officially diagnosed, self-identify, or just suspect you might have a brain that is autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD.
Do you work only with cis women?
Cis women, transgender women, nonbinary, agender, autigender, gender fluid — all are welcome here!
I have more questions. How can I contact you?
Let's talk! You can text or call me at 716-320-0220.